have you ever gotten so angry about life that you run off into the rain, take off your shirt and turn into a wolf
- Me: Will you sign this?
- Them: Sure
- Them: Wait,what is that?
- Me: A marriage certificate
- Them: But.. I..
- Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
- friend: mulan isnt even a princess
- me: dishonor
- dishonor on you
- dishonor on your whole family
- DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
- cousin: loser. you have no friends. all you do is get on the internet.
- me: I AM INTERNATIONALLY FAMOUS OKAY I DON'T SEE YOU HAVING FRIENDS FROM SINGAPORE, AUSTRALIA, CANADA, KOREA, THAILAND, GERMANY, FRANCE, NARNIA, MEXICO, BULGARIA LKAJSDLKJASFLKSJDGLKSDF
i feel like the internet saved and ruined my life at the same time
I was going to be very sarcastic here but on the spirits of the holidays: I’m glad there are many other things :)
- normal people: throw a huge party, invite everyone, get out all the alcohol and make it a night to remember
- me: sing my favourite song at the top of my lungs, dance around like a slut, stay on the internet all night and eat all the food in my house.
i hate when i start a show i like and it’s like OH GREAT NOW I GOTTA BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THESE FEELS
- TYPE YOUR NAME: Débora
- TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW: sw3enolpeerda\
- TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR EYES SHUT: Débora
- TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN: e4gbhoirea
- SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE KEYBOARD: yb v nm76
when i stub my toe or something i always shout “FUCK ME!”
because i want everyone to know that i may be hurt, but i’m still single
- my otp: breathes in the same room
- me: holy shit
- me: oh my god
- me: oh my fucking god
- me: oh my god they're sharing the same air
- me: they're so in lov-- OH M YGOD THEY LOOKED AT EACH oOTHER
- me: IM GONNA DIE
- me: I CANT LIVE
- me: i love you
hdu. Don’t make fun of my condition~~
- me: oh, hi poster, didnt see you there
- me: *pulls off shirt*
- me: you like that, dont you, you naughty poster you
BUT NOT TODAY!
- friend: *sees picture of favourite celebrity* oh, they're quite good-looking!
- me: do you think so
- me: do yoU EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
- me: DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS
- me: DO YOU KNOW THEIR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME
- me: HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE OF THEIR PERFECTION AND SCREAMED AT PICTURES OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU DON'T CARE REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST PLEASED THEY'RE IN THE WORLD
- friend: what
- me: nothing i have a cough, yes they are good-looking aren't they